Finding the L0L0 cat

In the days of Google's youth

This is one of my favorite April Fool's Day special features from Google. The video is brief, so do listen, please? 

Things were different then, even though the year was already 2012. The Google Tokyo employee in the video is a native Japanese language speaker. Notice how he has fun with us, pronouncing all his "L"s as "R"s in English?! There's the subject matter as well, evoking Nintendo, I believe? That living room is so elegant and beautiful. 

Another subtle detail is the date. It is 31 March. Why? Well, because the date was already 1 April in Japan! 

I enjoyed the dial-up modem sounds.

The Google NES 8-bit is a replacement for what I had in its place when I originally wrote this. At the time, I had segued to something cartographic using a GIF from Funny Blog. Unsurprisingly, Funny Blog and the source of the GIF are both long gone. You'll have to use your imagination. The GIF was a special feline hybrid: The Cat Erpillar!

Funny Blog has a funny cat for you!

Source: Silver Jewelry Life

Where is the L0L0 cat?

The idea for this came to me from the lolcat internet meme, although this is more cartographic, than feline. I'll give one clue to solving the mystery of the L0L0 cat's location, and why it is special. The clue is:

"What is the name of the official Google map product blog on Blogger?"

Not the URL, but the name of the blog. I must intercede with another update. The official Google map product blog no longer exists under its prior name. (The format is worse too. Like every other website, each entry is arranged as a grid of square blocks, making it difficult to ever find anything.) In the past, it was called the Google Latitude Longitude Blog.

Have a look at the map, and observe the caption at the bottom center. The caption is truly L0L0 rather than LOL or LOLO. 

The map may be enlarged here by clicking on it. It isn't necessary to open it on another page if you don't want to, although you can by clicking the underlined caption below. I didn't use Google Earth, only Google Maps, so no additional software is required to view. (Google Earth formerly required a download of software in order to support 3D rendering.)

Click here for a full-size view of the Land of L0L0

The triangular red map-marker--with an exclamation point--shows the physical location of the L0L0 cat but doesn't solve the puzzle.

I hope I haven't given the answer away.

Guide Me Home

A Near-Future Science Fiction Short Story

My journey began near the site of Google's offices in Beijing, shuttered and dark after permanent closure some years earlier by the government of the People's Republic of China. My destination was Camelback Road in Phoenix, in the U.S.A. My home. I could return. I had completed the assignment.

Pacific crossing

Time was not of the essence, thankfully. My transport choices in China were limited, to say the least. I didn't even have a bicycle! I would be traveling on foot for much of the journey. Fortunately, some ferry boats were still in operation. A kayak was waiting for me. Promises were kept. By ferry, occasional kayaking and motorboat relays, I returned to  U.S. territory at long last, to Guam. Hawaii was next. I arrived without incident, intending to rest for a brief time.

         View larger map

Hawaii was beautiful. Photos on The Map did not lie. But I couldn't linger. I returned to my Map. It would be impossible to cross the treacherous waters from Hawaii to the U.S. mainland without it. I traveled by ferry boat and assorted small craft. This was the most difficult part of the route home.

Finally, after more than 100 days in transit, I reached the coastline of North America. I entered via the more negotiable waterways near  Vancouver, although I would've preferred Seattle-Tacoma. The directions said that several short intervals of kayaking would be necessary. I was prepared. I had kept my kayak, but was glad to see the last of it!

Paseo del Norte

I was very worried about the notoriously strict Canadian border patrol.

Fortunately, my contact at Google's Redmond headquarters was informed of the situation. He met me at the border, plying the guards with two crates of brand-new, shrink-wrapped Microsoft PCs with optical processors inside. They are, effectively, quantum computers, yet have the footprint of a Windows 7 wireless phone. Such wonderful contraband, complete with factory installed Chrome Operating System!

Microsoft Optical PC: Small footprint prototype
 via the future and my imagination

You seem surprised. How so? Oh, my apologies!  I neglected to mention the massive consolidation that American industry and technology underwent during the economic and societal Aftermath.  That's how we refer to it now.

Euphemisms are a blessing.

Reconstruction

Let me pause a moment and get you caught up. This is what happened. Google and Microsoft consolidated. There were no succession problems following Bill's demise. Melinda Gates had years of experience as a Microsoft product manager prior to her marriage.

MS Google, as the combined entity was known, was warmly welcomed by locals in Washington State and Oregon after the auto da fe that destroyed Facebook. The populations of both states were delighted when Facebook's not-so-secret coal slurry and brimstone fueled data center was finally decommissioned!

Poor Apple. They were not social enough to get along with the others.

All that remained of venerable IBM were the Armonk and Almaden research centers. These IBM Research folk had PhD's and such, but very different attitudes compared to their predecessors. They quickly, and sensibly, requested a non-hostile takeover by Amazon Web Services. The merged entity chose to drop the "B" from the former International Business Machines, and became AWSIM.

AWSIM soon joined with Intel and AMD. Nowadays, AWSIM provides cloud computing, toasters and nearly anything else that MS Google or General Motors doesn't. AWSIM also acts as exclusive contractor to the U.S. Government. Probably will continue that until we get caught up again. There isn't any need for competitive bidding, not when I've just listed the only high-tech companies still in existence!

What was that you asked me? GM? Yes, General Motors is still here. We wouldn't have buses and blimps if they weren't! I don't recall the details, but I'm certain that GM did a reverse-IPO a long time ago. It continues to be a 100% employee owned and managed company.

Well! Enough of that! I must be on my way. I still have miles and miles to go before I sleep, working my way south, home to Phoenix. The thick blue path of The Map is my ley line. It glows softly yet does not flicker. I have no fear of getting lost with that to guide me. No, no fear at all.